therapy provided the safe space to wail, moan, sling snot, curse, get fucking angry, say shit out loud that I
I pray so I don’t have to worry. At 50 years old I learned in therapy the tools needed to
This is a picture of the year I turned 50, got serious about therapy for the neglect, abandonment and childhood
I have learned to trust myself. This is huge for someone that has experienced trauma especially as a child under
This is why I am the souls’ poet. I thought my computer was broken because I dropped it on the
Honestly, almost all of my relationships have been abusive in some way, even my relationships with women. But the scary part is, I did not know it at times.
We all have choices and we all have our tailored made cross to balance the mountains and valleys that will prepare us for our Purpose.
fear you have no power over me. you’ve held me captive much too long you were my master and i your slave you even tried to take me to my grave the scales have fallen off my eyes perfect love found me now i know you are just a wanna be in the presence of love you flee i have power over you love has destroyed every yoke victory is mine i am free i have power over fear My first reaction was to say there is no way I am that damn afraid. But when I think about all that I have accomplished since I decided to not let pain win I have to stop and see if there might be some truth in that. I realized I was going to hurt whether I lay in bed, cry and continue on with the vicious cycle of depression because I have pain 24/7 or I could get out
You don’t see my agony. I try and hide it away. But, what I really need are hands on my body. They say don’t feel sorry for yourself. Well, that does not put the pain away on a shelf. It keeps coming and coming and I can’t get away to make it stay, gone. When I am home alone, no one here to wipe my tears and every joint in my body feels like it has reached its breaking. What point is it to keep the tears inside? Although, I want to hide away in darkness so no one will see the side effects this shit has on me: grouchy, mouthy, tired and lacking luster. My lusciousness stolen by fibromyalgia. I know pain, and pain knows me well. I am tying not to make my life a living hell by complaining and begging for help. But dam it; I need somebody to put their hands on me I am not