I pray so I don’t have to worry.
At 50 years old I learned in therapy the tools needed to cope. I essentially grew up. My family of origin was dysfunctional, so I was not aware of the pathology in my thinking that showed up in my behavior.
Therapy for me was examining behaviors that don’t serve me well, like catastrophizing. The understanding of why I do something helped me love myself unconditionally. I then had the confidence that I could reprogram and resetting my default to healthy thinking which fueled the change in how I respond to life’s challenges.
We say knowledge is power but it can only be powerful when we use what we have learned to change.
I had been known to freak out. To not be able to handle stress was my legacy. My family would deliberately keep things from me. They felt they had to protect me or I would collapse under the pressure.
After therapy I use the tool my therapist and I practiced, “compartmentalizing”.
It is inline with my now favorite motto or chant.
If you are going to pray, don’t worry and if you are going to worry don’t pray.
I had a situation come up yesterday that in the past would have sent me reeling straight into anger and then depression and the cycle would start. Depression, pain, and anger from feeling out control.
That is FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
The truth is we have a choice to make moment to moment. We cant be happy and sad at the same exact moment. The brain does not work that way. And thank God because we would loose our choice or ability to be the miraculous human beings we are.
Our mindset is a choice. Our power lies in the fact we can create. We can think a thing, speak the thing and manifest a thing. It really is that simple.
I have changed. When things crop up and I don’t have the resources to solve the problem I am okay with allowing God to lead me to the solution.
Yesterday, I prayed and enjoyed the rest of my evening because there was nothing I could do about it at the time. I have learned to be present in the moment by compartmentalizing. I slept well last night. When I rose I went about my usual morning rituals. When I sat down and I allowed myself to think about it again, the problem was not as bad as I had initially thought.
No matter what I know I can trust God so I pray. Praying is giving it to God. But I don’t take it back by worrying about it. Breathing a sigh of relief, and smiling from the reassurance that it will all work out because I am in Gods will. Being happy moment to moment is the choice I make . Being present and Being grateful are the main keys to my happiness.
I am happy because I am grateful.
The Souls' Poet 