RAW & REAL
Therapy essentially taught me how to cope. Because of childhood trauma and a dysfunctional environment I wasn’t taught healthy coping skills. My therapist gave me practical things to do that were meant to develop new skills for coping. I had to learn how to recognize habits that did not serve me well and replace them with tools that I would ultimately use for the rest of my life Therapy was mostly about understanding self, figuring out how what happened to me affected me. It was about unlearning, relearning and replacing unhealthy coping with healthy coping. Awareness is just the beginning. Practicing my new skills don’t come naturally I fall often to what is comfortable but I must say I am quick to recover. I used to wallow in depression and self pity because I did not know any other way to be. Thanks God for therapy. #therapyworks
Before therapy whenever I would feel depressed or have anxiety and feel guilty.
I would punish myself with negative thoughts. I would always think to myself “what is wrong with me?”.
After therapy I can’t remember the last time I had that thought. Because I know there is nothing wrong with me. I know I have not done anything wrong.
Something bad happened to me. Something very very bad happened to me. That is why I do hate I behaved the way I did in the past. What happened to me caused PTSD.
When I am triggered I am afraid, guarded, vigilant and I don’t trust anybody. I don’t feel safe and I feel the need to protect myself.
I spent most of my life on guard not trusting. PTSD is not what is wrong with me.
PTSD is what is the result of what happened to me.
and dancers do their thing
ball players swing
we all have that one thing
that gets in between
the hurt and pain
by mozayik “the souls’ poet”
Before Therapy I “had ” a fear of being alone so badly that I found myself in situations that did not serve my highest good. My relationships were co-dependent and most were abusive in one way or another because I would do anything to avoid being alone. It was deeply rooted from being abandoned at 5 years old.
After therapy I am living alone in Phoenix Arizona. I deserve this fabulous life. I’ve worked hard to change. Y’all have no idea what it feels like to be truly INDEPENDENT. I explore this city with vivacious curiosity alone walking or in the car God blessed me with. I am not afraid because God is with me. #FinallyFree #FreedomFromCoDependency #TherapyWorks #ToGodBeTheGlory
“I am a survivor. I always figure out the way through difficult situations. I am strong enough to write about the past and still live in the now.”
mozayik ” the souls’poet”
Some triggers can be anticipated and allows for preparation. There are those triggers though that kick you in the gut and knock you immediately into the past. Before therapy I carried the angry energy around me like a cloud sometimes for days. I had no idea what was happening to me because of what “happened to me” as a child.
After therapy the knowledge of self and ptsd and what that looks like on me empowers me to use the skills learned and practiced in therapy to manage the fall out of triggers.
I fully expect to one day laugh at a trigger and say, “I see you but you don’t faze me anymore.” Until then I will keep practicing what I learned in therapy.
Shout out to my therapist of more than three years. ~Quandra Chaffers
Before therapy I doubted if my vision for my life would be realized. PTSD would always stop me in my tracks because of the triggers. I dealt with the triggers by running from the situation causing the trigger. I was very unstable. Some situations actually made me feel as if I was in the past. Sexual Trauma suffered as a very young child is so horrific that it is buried in the mind deeply because the child doesn’t even have words or images to explain what is happening to them. But the suppressed energy has to be brought to the surface and released. Therapy actually educates you on what is going on with the mind and body. It then helps to release those feelings and identify the why’s. Taking the punch out of the past allows for the space to unlearn coping skills that do not serve your highest good. Practicing new skills is the work still to be done to actually thrive.
After Therapy I wake up every morning Thanking God for my vision finally being manifested. Those on the outside looking in have no idea the years I have persevered. The prayers, the tears and tenacity are what God honors. Faith without works is dead. These blessings are the fruit of never giving up on the vision God gave me for my life. I am able to be humble because God has blessed me to take the pain and turn it into my passion. Now that is how you know it’s your purpose. Me and God have been working on this vision for all of my life. Every trauma, every tear shed during healing and every mile walked to bus stops rain or shine to therapy every week (I rarely missed my session), hot or cold for three years has opened my soul up to healing. #blessed #truestorypoetry #HardWorkPaysOff
#ToGodBeTheGlory #TherapyWorks #FaithWorks #WorkYourFaith