being alone sucks when the clouds start to turn gray and the memory of abuse is alive and well the
it’s a spiritual thing I just need to clear my head of the demons tormenting me with sounds of past
As I sit here looking at pictures of my family. I have an absolutely beautiful family. I am not complaining
I have learned to trust myself. This is huge for someone that has experienced trauma especially as a child under
So, I sit, and I write There are days when the words are the only thing I can trust. The
This is why I am the souls’ poet. I thought my computer was broken because I dropped it on the
Below is a journal entry of mine from August 2010. I thought my life was over and I felt good for nothing. I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was grieving the loss of my former active self. In March of this year I purchased a book titled “Go to Hell“ by Alfreda Lanoix. This book changed my life. I know people throw those words around a lot but this is my truth. Reading her book gave me courage to stand up and try again. I can not really explain it except to say I was a ready student and the teacher showed up. I found beauty in me. I saw God in me. I knew love in me. I felt if she could start over so could I. I said to myself “if her story can help me, then my story can help some body” The rest is mystory. I found my voice and have not shut up since.
In the pursuit of love little girls take candy from strangers women throw away their dreams while scheming on how to get whatever is missing in themselves men give up trying start drowning in the alcohol well we are all dying trying to find love My second ex-husband told me I was a fool for trying to make him love me. He was more right than he knows and that I wanted to admit. I literally gave my life for him. I had my tubes tied when I was 18 because I knew 3 was enough at 18 years old. I told the doctor that I refuse to sign the surgery authorization unless he would included the tubal ligation. I was pregnant with twins from my first husband. Well the doctor cut off the fimbriae of my fallopian tubes essentially making it impossible to reverse the procedure. Years later when I wanted to (give) my second husband children we did