Going to hell changed my life (dedicated to Alfreda Lanoix)

Below is a journal entry of mine from August 2010.  I thought my life was over and I felt good for nothing.  I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I was grieving the loss of my former active self. In March of this year I purchased a book titled “Go to Hell“  by Alfreda Lanoix.  This book changed my life.  I know people throw those words around a lot but this is my truth.  Reading her book gave me courage to stand up and try again.  I can not really explain it except to say I was a ready student and the teacher showed up. I found beauty in me.  I saw God in me.  I knew love in me. I felt if she could start over so could I. I said to myself “if her story can help me, then my story can help some body”  The rest is mystory.  I found my voice and have not shut up since. 

read more Going to hell changed my life (dedicated to Alfreda Lanoix)

Dying for Love

In the pursuit of love little girls take candy from strangers women throw away their dreams while scheming on how to get whatever is missing in themselves men give up trying start drowning in the alcohol well we are all dying trying to find love My second ex-husband told me I was a fool for trying to make him love me.  He was more right than he knows and that I wanted to admit.  I literally gave my life for him.  I had my tubes tied when I was 18 because I knew 3 was enough at 18 years old.  I told the doctor  that I refuse to sign the surgery authorization unless he would included the tubal ligation.  I was pregnant with twins from my first husband.  Well the doctor cut off the fimbriae of my fallopian tubes essentially making it impossible to reverse the procedure. Years later when I wanted to (give) my second husband children we did

read more Dying for Love