Happiness “my #1wordpoem for me”

Happiness is now, not just a word

it is not a far away place

somewhere in no one’s land

happiness is now, a concept that makes perfect sense

it is attainable and it has always meant

to be the state we live in

from moment to moment

happiness resides now, in my soul

it lives in all the little nooks and crannies

left from all the broken pieces

that have now been glued back together

and the mosaic

is bright,

colorful

trimmed in gold

in the places where trauma left it’s hole

happiness lives and dances in all of my dreams

all of my expectations are of happy everything

I swear I never thought I could exist

in a state of happiness

from moment to moment

I am not going to lie

I have my moments when I remember and I get sad

but I now know

how to not let the moments last

I honor my soul’s brave journey

if tears are in order I respectfully cry

but even in the memories I will be alright

cause I know that I now live in the light

this light that I can intentionally share

I am not looking for anything out there

because healing has brought me

to knowing my own worth

I truly love me and am okay with self

it feels wonderful to just be

and breath in peace

knowing that happiness

is always available to me

and now I don’t have drudge through shit

to see that if I live moment to moment

happiness is free

my one word poem for myself mozayik “the souls’ poet”

I am a mother with mental illness.

I could have said I suffer from depression, or that I deal with PTSD on a daily, but those have become acceptable words instead of saying mental illness. Those two words still hold an enormous amount of stigma.

I am changed by my understanding of self.  Self acceptance is a hard-earned virtue when your life started as a land mine where little girls were not safe.

I always knew this blog was inspired by the universes’ agreement with me to heal and help others by telling my story.

My story begins really, with mental illness.  My own, my mothers’ and any woman who knows there really are not a lot of safe havens for her to get the support she needs from family or community.  Depression kills so many every day.  Too many women suffer from mental disorders without help.

My new vision for the rest of my life is to help erase the stigma of mental illness.  If you include motherhood along with the stigma of mental illness it is utterly amazing what some women have been able to accomplish. What about those that did not or could not overcome?  What about those that struggle because of the fear of being judged or called crazy.

I am so very sure now of what I am to do with my book “Life in Poetry” “true story told in poetry”.  I am on purpose. I am excited.

I am open to the universe to be used in any way God sees fit to help mothers with mental illness.   I  have a vision and a plan.  Be on the look out and watch it all unfold.

The reason we wake up on any given day is not for ourselves.  We wake up because God wants to use us in someone’s life.  Even if it is just to pass along a smile that can travel across the world and create a massive wave of positive energy.

I am ready, willing and open to offer this gift to the world.

We find each other, the ones that seek love. The price of love is truth.

There are days when you come face to face with self.  These are usually the hardest days of your life.  In one moment, you will decide what the rest of your life will look like.  There are only two choices.  Choose the path of fear that tells you this is all you will ever be or have, so you might as well get what you can.  You do not believe you deserve anything more and your life will stop.  You will be living a lie.  If your life is a lie then your life is a waste.

 

The great thing is the other choice is the path to self-love that leads to unconditional love for others because you have it for yourself.  Unconditional does not mean you expect less of yourself.  It really demands that you take responsibility for the choices you have made thus far.  This will empower you to make wiser choices.  The choices that serve your “Highest” good and   that are the absolute for your purpose.

 

This path to truth will try everything you say you are.  Only the path of love will help you evolve to another level of self.  A more authentic soul is all most of us desire.  When it is all said and done, we just want to serve and we accept that means some days we will be alone but the journey to love is not lonely.  Love does not hurt.

 

We find each other, the ones that seek love.  The price of love is truth.

~~~~~mozayik “the souls’ poet

 

I Am My Own Super Shero (she can’t save me anyway)

I Am My Own Super Shero

(she can’t save me anyway)

she aint coming to save me

she can’t fix what she don’t see

her own pain blinds her

I know in this lifetime she won’t be free

I have to take care of me

cause aint nobody coming

and I just need to stay free in my mind

fear of lonely

beckons and taunts

I fight and flee the agony

of realizing that aint nobody coming to get me

so I take a few deep breaths,

fall on my knees

and allow Goddess to minister love

I stay free by keeping the best

and making it better

taking out my trash before it stinks

making sure I am not throwing away important pieces of me

that could someday be used against me.

I will protect me

by saving all this good for the woman that deserves me

by mozayk “the souls’ poet” 6.23.13

From my book SheRomance

Mamie and Bertha in me

I honor the Mamie and Bertha in me

the image they continue to give me is one of possibility

these women stood tall, I never saw their backs break

a slight bend now and again

but never broken

I never saw them without what they needed

they showed me with hard work anything can be defeated

I am not afraid to break a sweat

so you have not even seen the best of me yet

I am like my Great Grandmother Bertha,

she walked through this world on her own terms

she paid the price to decide

when to prop up her feet and die to flesh

this is who I am

my grandmother Mamie  did the same thing

you would always her saying

I will  die before I lose my independence

and she left this world on her own terms

this is where I come from

backs do not break

we walk on through

our souls help us decide what to do

like their great, great, and great-granddaughter Melisa

even though they left her for dead

she has a mission

she will decide when it is time to go home

so I am going to be all right

this is where I come from

I have decided I have more work to do

more light to shine, more seeds to be sown before I go home

I am going to lay my burdens  down

at Mamie, Bertha, Cara, Annie,

Essie and Margie’s feet

they are already free

and they are waiting for me to finish up this work

and come home and be free

by mozayik “the souls’ poet”  3.11.13