Want Change? Change your mind.

I have been battling with changing two core beliefs this year. Therapy has helped me to examine my own behavior, think about where the root is and destroy it by changing the way I think.
One core belief was, {everybody was going to leave me). I expected it. So whenever I had feelings of being abandoned my brain could not tell that I was just having thoughts or remembering experiences.
 
Even though it was not really happening my brain told my body it was happening. I say this was a core belief because now that I have identified it, it no longer is a belief. It is a fear – (false evidence appearing real) to be dealt with accordingly.
Because of the knowledge I have gained in therapy about how I respond to triggers, I am able to identify and replace negative thoughts that once supported my core belief that everybody was going to leave.
I am sure I have sabotaged relationships in fear of the abandonment. It was kind of like I was protecting myself for what was to come.
 
Another core belief that I have had to acknowledge is I believed that people were out to get me.
I have learned to trust the God in me. Moving slower will allows the process to happen.
Now I understand and appreciate the value of waiting for direction.
 
While waiting, for the emotion to dissipate, I ask myself “What is the evidence of …..?”
Once the emotion is gone. I detach, pray and wait on God to give me the best solution. Sometimes nothing needs to be done. Other times I am led to a person, place or thing that holds THE ANSWER.
But ALWAYS I get the LESSON. I am able to evolve to a new level.
There is no evidence that supports that belief that people always leave me and there is no evidence that people are out to get me.
 
I had some damage to my car and I assumed that it had been vandalized, but waiting allowed me to see that I was the one that had damaged my car. Once my mind was cleared of all those untrue thoughts I remembered exactly when and how it happened.
Three weeks is how long I waited for these profound epiphanys.
Being able to accomplish my goals is a direct result of working on my thinking which helps me to change my behavior. After doing the work in therapy the real Work begins.
It does get better though, At first I hated examining everything I thought or did, but over time and with practice my snap back time (knowing that that was then and this is now)has decreased tremendously.
In full expectation I am looking forward to the day when I have successfully rewired my brain to not allow anything from my past to affect my now.
Practice really does make perfect. It has already become second nature to identify and let go of the emotions of a trigger ASAP.
I have truly been able to “Let Go, and Let God”
If you are going to worry, don’t pray, if you are going to pray, don’t worry.
~mozayik “the souls’ poet”
5.6.18
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True story told in poetry. I am a Real and Raw Poet and Author of ”The Souls’ Poetry” my soul's true story of its’ journey to healing from the pain of childhood sexual trauma. I blog about my three year commitment to therapy and what life is like before and after healing. Decreasing the stigma of mental illness, inspiring women to tell their stories, and leading women To and Through Therapy is my mission.

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