You don’t get to choose who to love.
As an advocate of therapy, I often get backlash even from those in the field of helping us to heal, when I say society wont start to truly healing until we look at the entire problem.
We cant just allow the victims to “Heal themselves” alone. I was raped at the age of five and life before then was horrific. I did not get serious and commit to therapy until I was 50. My family did not inquire about my 3 1/2 solid years of therapy. I walked many miles alone taking a total of four busses.
I went to therapy no matter the weather. I walked in the snow, wind chills below zero and the thunder and lighting, because it was life or death for me. I could not bear the weight pain any longer. The stigma of the crazy label didn’t sting worse than the flashbacks and nightmarish symptoms of ptsd.
I don’t give anybody a pass or excuse. I just want us to mean what we say. We are quick to say “Hurt people hurt people” but we don’t help ALL of the hurting people. We talk about God’s love that supposedly resides in our souls, but we find it hard to forgive and love those that are the most needing of compassion.
I really don’t believe that everyone will make the commitment to heal but I believe if we support healing for ALL we can start to clean up this insidious sickness in our society. Our entire society is in need of healing.
Men need to accept responsibility for any behavior that hurts their mothers, daughter’s and all women.
We need to start raising our boys to NOT Rape instead of teaching our daughters how not to be raped.
Also as women we have been taught that it is always our fault and men cant help themselves.
My mother said the reason her boyfriend tried to get in bed with me was because he was drunk and high. I am sure there are completely evil people in our society, but there are also people dealing with the guilt of what they have done. I am not saying pardon them. I am asking to extend some compassion to encourage and support the healing for all.
I think of my three brothers, two of them committed suicide by drinking themselves to death before the age of 38. I tried many times to reach out to my youngest brother but the stigma was stronger than his will to accept my help.
My family referred to me as the crazy sister because I went to therapy. It hurt but I knew that I could only show instead of tell them about therapy. They have all witnessed what therapy has done for me. Many are now seeking therapy for themselves.