Practice makes perfect is a true statement or at the very least practice makes better. Before therapy most of my thoughts were negative. I beat up on myself thinking things like “What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing the same stupid shit over and over again?”, “What is the point? I might as well just end it, nobody cares anyway. ” Then I would slide down the slippery slope of depression. I knew if I did not ask for help I would commit suicide. This always ended with a hospital stay of at least 3 days or 72 hours. The skills needed to climb out of the pits of hellish depression were not yet in my possession.
Now, though, I have an arsenal of tools to prevent the stumble and fall. I stumble but it doesn’t mean the same. Learning and honing coping skills is the super power of therapy. I stay elevated mentally with out any medication. Stability has been obtained due to the hard work done for the sake of healing. I had to face the fear that I would lose my mind if I allowed the trapped emotions to rise in an effort to be released.
Not being able to bear constant pain any longer convinced me to commit to the try. Life or death urgency was the strength of this try. My grandmother always said, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” Pain was the biggest motivator forcing me to address it or die.
Losing my mind was the benefit of letting go. I reprogrammed, rewired, and regenerated pathways in my brain. The default now is happy.
After therapy and years of determination to practice what was learned in therapy, it is rare to have a negative thought about myself. Replacing it with the truth comes easy. Because I believe these truths: I am amazing. I am strong. I am fearless. God is with me. No matter what happens it will be alright. Before therapy I couldn’t even trust my own mind.
After therapy I have no doubt in my ability to make sure I have what I need. God has smiled on me so many times that my faith and trust are unshakable.