I am doing the last editing of my book and the feelings that are coming up this time are intense. I want to feel so I can grow but the overwhelming sense of abandonment is making me want to not feel anything. This is why it has taken so long to finish.
Reliving the events that have been the inspiration for this book is excruciatingly painful. I have made an appointment to see a therapist because I am going to need some help with this part. At least I know there is resolution if I move through these feelings I will have gained better insight into why I keep repeating the same patterns.
Applied knowledge is power. They say awareness is half the battle. I am determined to stay on purpose. Hopefully I can finish this time and move on to more pleasing endeavors.
So, I will leave you with an excerpt from the book that will explain some of the emotions I am dealing with.
excerpt from “Life in Poetry”
looking and searching for something
that was supposed to be my birthright
why am I called out to endure such a trial
how is it that people overlooked the fact
that I was a child
now as an adult
what can I do to undo what has been done to me
by mozayik “the souls’ poet”
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The Souls' Poet 