Holding on to Happy

Before Therapy I would go into a severe depression when I felt that I had disappointed someone.  Some selfish person would try and guilt trip me into seeing things their way for what ever reason.  I would not speak up. I would dwell on the experience.  I felt bad because they told me I should feel bad. I would fill my mind with negative thoughts and spiral into a deep depression.  The guilt tripper would not even know the amount of damage or the effect of my self inflicted abuse.  I just could not cope with knowing someone was not pleased with me and go out of my way to either avoid that person or find a way to mend the energy between us. After therapy I realize the best way to cope is to do what is right for me.  I can deal with the disappointment of others about me not doing what they see as best.  I can

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Not my blood

Originally posted on Girl Get You Some Help:
Every one  wants something from me they’ve taken my heart and my soul control of mind I gave now they want my blood weren’t my tears enough are not my scars the badge of honor they wear never did they care about me they take, they took and continue to take but they call me the crook memories of horror disgusting memories embed in my sinew are the etchings of abuse, misuse, rejection, oppression and now they want blood I gave my dignity and my body offered in sacrifice for their love and they still want my blood does anybody ever look outside of themselves into the eyes of hurting souls I gave years of dedication and devotion went through poverty, lack and want put up a front in front of my peers bent over backward and kissed my own ass trying to make the charade last all I got was that’s…