A writers need for Solitude

I just need to clear my head

of the demons tormenting me

with sounds of past nightmares

and present day real or imagined harm

I am full ready to pop

don’t want to drop

all my cares at every stop

need to breathe, to see me

I am blinded

by everyone else s importunities

craving aloneness

the only way I know

to reach the part of me

that is free and filled

with possibility

I just want to be

unbound in my mind

the only sanctuary

to hide until I can cope

with difficulties outside of me

to have peace I have to touch

the part of GOD that resides inside me

can’t be found out there

I know it is hard to understand

the only way I know to get what I need

to deal with issues blinding me

from what it is I am

silence is golden

solitude is good for the soul

it is a spiritual thing

don’t take it personally

it is all about me needing

to let God lead me

by Mozayik “the souls’ poet”

Standing up for Nesie

I am getting the lesson.  I am waking up to what the universe has been teaching me through the circumstances of my life.  It is okay to say, “You hurt me and it is not okay.”  In the past I was the one that forgave quickly and tried to empathize with the person being abusive to me in some way.
I made excuses for them but quietly resented that they did not automatically know how something said or done had affected me.  I did not hold them accountable by telling them how I felt.  I gave them free reign to disrespect and invalidate my feelings.

I have gone out of my way to advocate and defend the rights of others but when it came to standing up for myself I would give up and give in.  It was as if my feelings did not matter or I somehow deserved to be treated badly.
I am growing.  I am presented with the choice of staying stuck in the same old patterns of behavior or changing.  I am changing.  I am choosing to look at my own behaviors that no longer serve me.

I get it and now I am elated knowing it is imperative that I now stand up for myself.  That entails me knowing that “I am worth the fight.”  I am no longer going to allow people in my life that lack empathy or remain unapologetic about how their behavior has affected me.  If future relationships with friends and family are not mutually reciprocal I will have to remove that toxin from my life.

A friend told me today, “Hold your head high”  I will continue on this journey and accept my purpose as a Catalyst for Change.