Cloak of Guilt

A journal entry from 1.3.2013 All day today I have been hearing that Mary J. Blige song “Just Fine”.  I made it through a tumultuous year.  If you had told me everything that happened in my life was a promise I would have laughed.  I believe I can be more than a survivor.  I can thrive.  I know how to hold on to my Joy.  (still holding 3.25.2013) I am still in therapy and I plan on staying for the long haul this time.  I am truly falling in love with me.  I had told myself that I deserved bad things to happen to me as restitution to what I thought I had done to people I love.  My therapist had me look at blame and what I found was that I was quick to take the blame for everything that went wrong in my children’s’ lives, the people I was in relationship with or any other situation.  It was

read more Cloak of Guilt

Mamie and Bertha in me

I honor the Mamie and Bertha in me the image they continue to give me is one of possibility   these women stood tall, I never saw their backs break a slight bend now and again but never broken I never saw them without what they needed they showed me with hard work anything can be defeated I am not afraid to break a sweat so you have not even seen the best of me yet I am like my Great Grandmother Bertha, she walked through this world on her own terms she paid the price to decide when to prop up her feet and die to flesh this is who I am my grandmother Mamie  did the same thing you would always her saying I will go die before I lose my independence and she left this world on her own terms this is where I come from backs do not break we walk on through our souls help us

read more Mamie and Bertha in me