Is Pain really Fear leaving your body?

PTSD, secrets, Trunk of bitter, Uncategorized 2 Minutes

 

  • fear

    you have no power over me.

    you’ve held me captive much too long

    you were my master and i your slave

    you even tried to take me to my grave

    the scales have fallen off my eyes

    perfect love found me

    now i know you are just a wanna be

    in the presence of love you flee

    i have power over you

    love has destroyed every yoke

    victory is mine i am free

    i have power over fear

     

  • My first reaction was to say there is no way I am that damn afraid. But when I think about all that I have accomplished since I decided to not let pain win I have to stop and see if there might be some truth in that.
    I realized I was going to hurt whether I lay in bed, cry and continue on with the vicious cycle of depression because I have pain 24/7 or I could get out of bed and keep moving.
    People around me try to get me to be still and say I am doing too much, but they don’t understand that when I be still I am focused on the pain but movement allows me to transcend the pain. It never goes away. I just have days that are better than others.

    There may be some truth to pain is fear leaving. All of 2012 I have been in therapy dealing with the fear of PAIN. I was living with the fear of psychological and physical pain. My quality of life was affected because I feared doing anything that would result in me being in unbearable pain.

    I was afraid to allow the memories and flashbacks to surface because I thought I could not endure the overwhelming feelings of shame and heartbreak. Along with the memories my body would hurt in direct proportion to area of my body that was being harmed in my memory. I actually felt a release of painful energy. I felt lighter more free, less afraid.

    I know beyond a shadow of doubt that one of the biggest reasons I have Fibromyalgia is because my flight or fight response is stuck to ON. That means I have been living in a state of tension/terror all my life and this has caused me to tense all my muscles and now I am telling my muscles to relax and that is not my natural state. I do not know how to relax. Therein lies my problem. Even my brain has been wired abnormally but that is being changed every time I get out of bed and “Keep it Moving”

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Published by Mozayik "the souls' poet"

The true story told in poetry. I am a Real and Raw Poet and Author of ”The Souls’ Poetry” my soul's true story of its’ journey to healing from the pain of childhood sexual trauma. I blog about my three-year commitment to therapy and what life is like before and after healing. Decreasing the stigma of mental illness, inspiring women to tell their stories, and leading women To and Through Therapy is my mission.

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4 thoughts on “Is Pain really Fear leaving your body?”

  1. WOW – hit 🙂
    “I know beyond a shadow of doubt that one of the biggest reasons I have Fibromyalgia is because my flight or fight response is stuck to ON. That means I have been living in a state of tension/terror all my life and this has caused me to tense all my muscles and now I am telling my muscles to relax and that is not my natural state.”

    I, too, believe that this is the primary cause of the Fibromyalgia that I deal with daily. I am in a continuous state of LEARNING because of Fibro & that is the only thanks I will give this DisEASE. Learning to watch what I eat, how much I do, when to take breaks, how to meditate, about energy through Reiki, LEARNING…LEARNING…LEARNING….

    I discovered your quoted statement to be true for me, when a Reiki Practitioner said, “I know this will be a painful exercise for you – but I’d like you to (as often as you can, but at least once a day) lay flat and squeeze every muscle in your body. Tense up, hold it for as long as you can & then release it all. Once you feel you have released it, starting with your toes, release further.” I realized that SO much of my life was spent in a tensed position. If not my entire body, at least my shoulders, neck – a part of my body. There are many reasons for this (TMI)… but it is truly nice to acknowledge, revisit & refocus thanks to your post.

    ♥ Grateful, Thank you ♥

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    1. Oh thank you so much for stopping by. I enjoyed reading your comment. It is nothing like reading comments or talking to someone that knows exactly what you are talking about from their own experience. I am inspired and encourage when ever some one can relate to my story. I apologize for the late reply. Our family has been in crisis since September 7th. Thanks again for sharing

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  2. I wish your truth was my truth..how I wish that!! APS or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome/polymyalgia/giant C cell arterititis is an actual disease.Not that Fibromyalgia is not.
    It is an autoimmune disease and if people who have a public voice would acknowledge it rather than hide from it and what is worse flat out LIE Mr and Mrs Nichols maybe we could get some testing and funding.I also as secondary issues have lupus and epilepsy.For most people they would be primary conditions.I was me until about a year ago,I mean I knew I was going downhill,but at what speed I was unaware of accelerating. THe brakes have been put on and I have come to a screeching halt.I just pray that all states come to a straight policy on medicinal marijuana.People nor animals were not meant to suffer like this,and we at least put our animals to sleep when they are ssuffering.This seems a tad skewed.I am NOT advocating assisted suicide I am asking of a national policy on pain control.Is that too much to ask for?

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    1. Hello Bartogirl, I am so glad that you gave me your gift of time and your story. I agree with everything you say about pain control. It so sad that the innocent suffer because of the lack of empathy in our society. It is all about the money. Not many are really trying to find cures for people like you and me. We are more profitable to the entire industry from the pharmaceutical companies that create customers to the pill pushing doctors. I will pray for you. I will remember you and be inspired to continue my education to be a journalist advocate. You are correct we need a voice. We need to educated ourselves and help each other. I apologize for the very late response. My daughter has been in the hospital for the last 3 months and all of our lives have been in crisis. Just now getting back to myself a little after being hospitalized for depression. I get upset sometimes because they try to say the depression causes my pain but it really is the other way around. My pain causes my depression. Music is what keeps me sane. Again, thanks for stopping by. I am going to start a new blog about surviving fibromyalgia and living on disability. I will send you the link once I get it up and running. Love,peace, and “the souls’ poet” ~~~ mozayik

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