Love is an inexhaustible stream given at birth for me to give away the only power I have the only thing I could ever control is my choice to love I don’t have to chase it or look for it I am it so I decide to love right now this second giving you my love makes my love overflow the only reason to be alive is to love any other reason and you are just biding time I was thinking about what motivated me to quit smoking. I was not walking my talk. Now that I know what self-love really looks like I am finding it easy to make changes in my life that prove how much i love myself. Since my earlier post where I talked about not yet having forgiven the man who raped me at five, I have done a lot of thinking about forgiveness. I forgave the little girl in me for being vulnerable. I
Below is a journal entry of mine from August 2010. I thought my life was over and I felt good for nothing. I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was grieving the loss of my former active self. In March of this year I purchased a book titled “Go to Hell“ by Alfreda Lanoix. This book changed my life. I know people throw those words around a lot but this is my truth. Reading her book gave me courage to stand up and try again. I can not really explain it except to say I was a ready student and the teacher showed up. I found beauty in me. I saw God in me. I knew love in me. I felt if she could start over so could I. I said to myself “if her story can help me, then my story can help some body” The rest is mystory. I found my voice and have not shut up since.