Survivor (when my own soul encouraged me)

you are a survivor girl stand up and be strong you’ve made it through storms of  hard times you’ve seen bad marriages the let downs of dreams but you’re still here so it seems you can’t make it seems you can’t see your way but you’ve made it this far girlfriend you survived, through it all till this day go ahead on and be strong. You’re a survivor because you’ve hung in there this long. Gone girl with your bad self only you know what you can do. just try it. just believe in your self. Don’t wait for somebody to tell you that you can make it through. you know what you’ve got to do reach deep down inside yourself and pull out what has been there for so long stand up and be strong. girl whatever it took to make it through a bad marriage to a drug addict and wife beater. whatever it took to make it

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Agony

Agony my groans are unutterable the pain is too deep the cries have no sound and yet I weep the soul is bound with love nowhere found not one person to connect with “I am bound” not one person to understand that my suffering is my own conceived by a wicked plan if you say you love me why can’t I feel it why is your touch non-existent am I alone in this great big world will there be healing for this little girl How are you supposed to feel about yourself when  accused of trying to kill your little brother at the age of three or four.  You know the truth although you are only three years old.  You know that your mother is lying to cover her own ass.  She knows damn well she left a three-year old and a two-year old in the apartment by themselves.  This is my very first memory of childhood. Again, please let

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Dying for Love

In the pursuit of love little girls take candy from strangers women throw away their dreams while scheming on how to get whatever is missing in themselves men give up trying start drowning in the alcohol well we are all dying trying to find love My second ex-husband told me I was a fool for trying to make him love me.  He was more right than he knows and that I wanted to admit.  I literally gave my life for him.  I had my tubes tied when I was 18 because I knew 3 was enough at 18 years old.  I told the doctor  that I refuse to sign the surgery authorization unless he would included the tubal ligation.  I was pregnant with twins from my first husband.  Well the doctor cut off the fimbriae of my fallopian tubes essentially making it impossible to reverse the procedure. Years later when I wanted to (give) my second husband children we did

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Not my blood

Every one  wants something from me they’ve taken my heart and my soul control of mind I gave now they want my blood weren’t my tears enough are not my scars the badge of honor they wear never did they care about me they take, they took and continue to take but they call me the crook memories of horror disgusting memories embed in my sinew are the etchings of abuse, misuse, rejection, oppression and now they want blood I gave my dignity and my body offered in sacrifice for their love and they still want my blood does anybody ever look outside of themselves into the eyes of hurting souls I gave years of dedication and devotion went through poverty, lack and want put up a front in front of my peers bent over backward and kissed my own ass trying to make the charade last all I got was that’s not enough give me more they said give

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Thank you for stopping by to view my blog.  I want to share what poetry is to me.  If it were not for writing poetry I am certain I would have lost my mind, killed someone or killed myself.  Through poetry I have been able to purge negative emotions.  I have learned that the most powerful force is Love.  The most loving thing I can do is share my God given gift in hopes that my story will help to heal others.  If I made it through so can you.  One of my favorite sayings is “there but for the grace of God, go I” I will tell you my story through my poems.  We will start with as far back as I can remember and move through to the present.  So, I guess you could say that this is an Autobiography told in poems.  There will be days when I digress, but most of the time I will post

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Positive Funk

Positive Funk is where you go to work on self you can’t take any one along funky place in your spirit filled with your own bittersweet song you don’t mind staying funky for while cause you know there won’t be a crowd they don’t understand you see about this  funky place you be but you very well comprehend this positive funk you are in this funk is a good funk the kind that builds you up you don’t smell this you feel it you welcome the enriching experience don’t share  it cause you couldn’t if you wanted to it’s designed just for you it’s too funky for your loved ones so they just let you do what you gotta do this funky place is fertile ground where all the seeds of life are growing you’ll find pride, greed and all the  negative emotions but be patient cause positivity will soon be flowing shortly you’ll see the love peace and contentment

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Who Knew?

I have updated my You Tube page again.  I don’t like Gmail and you tube would not let me delete my Gmail address so I had to create a new You Tube account.  I am almost finished connecting every thing but boy it has been tedious.  Now I understand the high prices marketing companies charge because this is time-consuming.  I am a smart woman so it will not  be too long before everything is up and running. I am getting anxious so I am going to post a poem.  LOL

Still on my grind

Although I was up all night running to the restroom and I spent most of the day feeling crappy, I was able to tidy up my you tube page and do some research on how to post videos of myself reading my poetry.  For now I think I am going to just use the audio until I can get it all connected.  I read some of Sonia Sanchez’s Wounded in the House of a Friend.  So far of all the female poets I can most relate to her.  Her writing voice reminds me of great grandmother.  I promised myself that I would blog everyday even it is only a few lines.  It is done.

It is started

I bought my domain name today and I studied punctuation. My next step is to get public. I am trying to think of a good way to kick everything off once I have completed the latest book. I am also still working on connecting every online presence.